Tommy

After I shook hands with my opponent after completing my match Sunday, I turned to walk towards my bag on the bench by the side of the court to put my racquets away.  I grinned, giddily, at Aaron, who had come to watch me play. 

I packed up my stuff, casually chatting with my opponent about the tennis seasons so far, and asked her if she by chance knew my brother, since the opposing team was from Purdue.  She said she didn’t, but asked if I had a picture, because she was better with faces than names.  I pulled out my phone and quickly pulled up a picture of him from Facebook.

She frowned at my screen, “He looks really familiar.  I think I have a class with him.  And, I think a girl on the team is friends with him, actually.”  She pointed towards a girl who was just finishing up her match against Cara (my doubles partner).

“What a small world,” I quipped.  We parted ways and I jogged over to Aaron and told him about my conversation with her.  He placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed my cheek.

“You did awesome today!”  He held out his hand for a high-five and I slapped it hard.

“Thanks.  Today finally felt fun again, playing.  I actually really felt carefree.”

“I could tell.”  We were walking side by side; he was carrying my bag, as he’d taken it from me when I’d approached him.  “So, are you going to talk to her?”  He nodded his head towards Cara’s opponent who was off the court and about to walk past us.

I nodded vigorously.  “Hey!” I called out, half waving my hand.

She stopped and looked at me, and then looked behind her.  Realizing I was talking to her, she changed directions and came towards me.  I summarized my brief conversation with the girl I had played against, told her my brother’s name, and showed her a picture of him.  Her eyes widened and she smiled at me.

“Oh my gosh!  You’re Tommy’s sister?”  Tommy?  Really?

“Uh, yeah.  So are you guys friends?”

She blushed slightly.  “Yeah.  We have a lot of our general ed classes together, because I’m a freshman, too.  He’s really sweet.”

I attempted to not make a face, trying to imagine my brother being sweet.  “Huh.  How is he doing?”

“He’s good!  We actually had a study date... I mean, we studied together a couple nights ago.  He’s really smart.  So far he has a 4.0.  I’m actually kind of jealous.  But he’s been helping me with some math things I’ve been struggling with.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s basically a math genius.  So have you met Miriam, then?”

She furrowed her brows at me.  “Who’s Miriam?”

I squinted my eyes at her, unsure if I was the one missing something, or if she was.  “Uh, nevermind.  I must be confused.”

We chatted a little longer until she left.

“Sorry about that,” I apologized to Aaron. 

He smiled and grabbed both of my hands.  “So, when you all are done here, I need you to go home, shower really quickly, and get ready, because I have a surprise date planned for us tonight, okay?

I couldn’t stop the grin that took over my face.  “Really?”

He teasingly rolled his eyes.  “Duh.”

“How should I dress?”

“Comfortable, casual, and with Husker pride.”

I laughed.  “Gotcha.  I’ll see what I can come up with.”

“Okay, I gotta go to get some things ready, but I’ll see you in a little bit.  Let’s say 5:30?”

“I’ll be ready.”  He kissed me lightly on the lips and started towards the exit.

I watched him walk away, and also felt pride as I saw several of the Purdue team’s players check him out as he walked by.  I went to join some teammates to watch the rest of a couple matches that were still going. 

I plopped on the ground next to Cara.  But shortly after sitting, I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I turned to see my opponent.  “Oh, hey.”

“Can I ask you something really quick?”

“Sure.”

“So the girl that knows your brother, Christa?”

“Yeah...?”

“She mentioned something to me about thinking they were kinda seeing each other or something, but you said something about another girl... I think she’s a little upset that you didn’t know he was seeing her, or maybe that he has a girlfriend or something?”

Try wife, I thought.  “Well, um...” I stalled, not wanting to throw my brother under the bus, even though he deserved it with how Miriam is.  “To be honest, I haven’t spoken to my brother a lot recently.  I’ve had some... things happen to me, and I’ve been a little occupied.  I don’t know what’s going on in his life.  If he’s seeing that girl, Christa, I probably am just confused because I haven’t talked to him in months.”

I made a mental note to call him asap.

She smiled.  “Okay.  I told her the girl you mentioned was probably just a friend or relative anyway.  I’ll let her know she has nothing to worry about.”

I refrained from rolling my eyes, thinking that was the exact opposite of what she should be doing.  We said bye, and I went back to watching the match.

After the matches, I got in my car to head home to shower and get ready for my surprise date.  I opened up Facebook on my phone, before backing out, and saw I had a new friend request from Christa.  With one friend in common, my brother.

Victorious: Part 4

*DECEMBER 2014*

“Ma’am,” the flight attendant looked at me sternly, “you need to shut your phone off.  Now.” 

I sighed and rolled my eyes, more in frustration with the situation than with her.  I looked at the empty seat next to me and angrily shut my phone off, stuffing it into my coat pocket.  Although I was angry, there was an underlying edge of fear starting to creep in.  “Where the hell are you, Luke?” I whispered to myself.

I examined the diamond on my left hand, noting that it needed to be cleaning.  I ran my fingers through my tangled flaming curls, antsy.  I started tapping my foot.  I blinked back the tears that were starting to burn at the corners of my eyes.  Luke was supposed to be on this flight with me, but he didn’t show at the airport.

Really, it was my fault, probably.  I was the one that forgot my parents’ Christmas gift in my dorm room.  Luke dropped me off at the airport to get our bags checked, and then he took my keys back to get it.  He had jokingly told me to get on the plane if called to board, that he would make it.  But yet, here we are, taxiing down the runway, and there is no Luke beside me.  Fucker.  He probably purposely stood me up.

I looked out the window, watching us float higher and higher, Lincoln’s lights growing smaller and smaller.  Turning into dots.

*SEPTEMBER 2010*

I gazed at the ring dazzling on my left ring finger.  I was still in a state of wonder over the previous night.  Luke had sold his car just for me!  For us.  Our family we were going to have.  I rubbed my tummy and rolled onto my back, to look at Luke, still sleeping next to me.  I kissed his forehead and got up, preparing to make breakfast. 

Luke was working at a local factory now, and had his own apartment.  He had sold his car to save for our baby and buy me a ring, and bought a cheap beater to get him to and from work.  I had just started senior year.  No one knew I was pregnant, yet.  Since I was just a few months along, I luckily hadn’t started showing and was able to (barely) get into my cheer uniform without any wayward glances from my squad.

I stayed at Luke’s apartment as much as possible.  Although my parents were controlling, they also didn’t care too much about me.  After I’d go in my room and close my door they never came to check on me, so I would just sneak out my window.  I was always up and gone to school before either of them ever awoke, so I just didn’t bother going home and would go to school from Luke’s.

After he slipped the ring on my finger, we had discussed that until I started showing and people knew I was pregnant, I would wear the ring on a delicate chain around my neck.  I already knew the judgmental hillbillies would all say I was too young.  I mean, I should at least wait until I’m graduated!

I finished making the eggs, pancakes, and sausage and went to wake Luke.  I leaned on the bed and kissed him, shaking him gently.  His eyes fluttered open and he grinned at me, and sat up, kissing my stomach first, and then me.  I started bouncing up and down, having to pee.  Luke laughed and asked, “Bladder being squished?”

“Yes!  She’s probably going to have your height genes!  Already affecting me.  She’s making my back hurt already, too!  Or maybe it’s just your mattress.”  I stuck my tongue out at him.

“She?”  Luke cocked an eyebrow at me.

I winked and skipped to the bathroom, calling to Luke that breakfast was on the table.

When I sat down, that’s when everything changed.  I looked at my panties and saw a bright red stain.  My eyes widened.  I had done all of my research.  I knew that bright red or pink was bad.  And at 10ish weeks, I was still in the high miscarriage time. 

I don’t know how long I was sitting on the toilet, staring blankly at my hands, picking at my nails.  My lower backache I attributed to Luke’s bed had slowly wrapped its way around to my abdomen, and it felt like cramps.  Suddenly.  I doubled over, and starting crying.

And that’s how Luke found me.  He took one look at me and knew what was happening.  He helped me clean up and get prepared, holding me and crying with me.  It was the beginning of the end.

*DECEMBER 2014*

As soon as the plane landed I held the power button down, powering my phone back to life.  I waited, impatiently, but no new messages or voicemails came through.  “What the ever living fuck!” I exclaimed to my phone.

I tried Luke again, but it just rang with no answer.  I left another voicemail, something about him taking a nap in my dorm.  I had tried calling him 10 times and sent multiple texts.  Luke had gotten the rental car in his name, so I really didn’t have a way to get to my parents’ or any money to get there.  I called my mom and asked her if she could come get me.  I figured my dad was at the bar anyway.  She obliged, though I could tell she was pissed, since the airport was an hour from home. 

The next morning, I still had no messages from Luke.  But now, when I tried calling him, it was going straight to voicemail.  I hadn’t moved out of bed yet, and was starting to get worried.  I thought maybe I should start calling the area hospitals up there, to see if Luke was in the ICU or something.  I unlocked my phone and was just about to start googling the numbers for Lincoln’s hospitals when my phone started ringing from an unknown number.

Better be Luke.

“Hello?”  I answered, tentatively.

“Yes, hello.  Is this Victoria Watson?”

“Uh, yeah.  Who’s this?”  My heart stopped, as the voice didn’t sound friendly on the other end.

“Victoria, this is Detective Brad Stratton with the Lincoln Police Department.  There’s been an incident with your fiance, Lucas Hammond, and we need you to come down to the station as soon as possible.”

Pent-Up Anger

*PRESENT DAY*

Zach’s eyes may have been filled with love, memories, and promises, but they had turned into my first love, cherished memories, and broken promises.

So before closing my eyes to fall asleep that night, after the sweet, sweet kiss, and wrapped securely in his arms, Aaron said, “Goodnight, sweet girl.”

And I had whispered back, “Goodnight, boyfriend.” 

I called him that sporadically, because I loved how it sounded rolling off my tongue.

We hadn’t had sex, and that was actually the first time we’d stayed the night together.  But I liked it. 

I hadn’t really done much outside of the house on my own.  And by my own, I meant without a friend, or teammate, or family member, or Aaron.  I decided after practice on Tuesday, that I was going running. 

Dean, my therapist, had encouraged me to take baby steps to start getting out on my own.  He also encouraged me to join a self-defense class.  So, with the help and guidance of Aaron, he had steered me to a class that some of his detective buddies from the sheriff’s department put on.  It was in the evenings for a week straight at the end of the month.  I had already signed up, and was just awaiting it to start.

But on Tuesday, the idea to run struck me while practicing.  The weather was still hit or miss, and cold, so we were indoors.  However, it was almost 40 outside!  I know, that seems extremely cold to a lot of the U.S., but to us Midwesterners, it felt like spring was actually, finally going to happen.  I had decided to jog through campus, because there would be people walking around since it was “warm” and also (again, finally) still light outside at an acceptable hour. 

Since I felt nervous, and my stomach was in knots just thinking about it, I told Aaron what I was doing and told him if he hadn’t heard from me in an hour to come find me.  He had promised me he would.  I was only planning on going three miles, so I knew I’d get back with him way before an hour was up.  I also use an app on my phone called Map My Run, which tracks where I’m running and how far I’m going so I don’t need to actually measure out the distance beforehand.  I had paid to upgrade it and synced it to Aaron’s so that way he would know where I was, too.  Knowing that he would be aware of my whereabouts and be able to tell if I was stopped for any, odd, extended period of time eased my nerves.  Slightly.

I was still warm from practice, so I didn’t bother stretching; I just started out, my “Running” play list blasting into my ears. 

My run went by without hitch.  When I got back to my car, I decided to do some stretches.  My skin was ice cold, but I was warm and sweaty.  The joys of running outside in almost freezing temperatures. 

I was bent over, touching my toes, when I heard a tentative voice behind me, “Aleah?”

I immediately bristled at the sound.  My body tensed up.  I looked up and around, to ensure people were still around, and they were, within earshot.

I stood and turned to face Victoria.  Every muscle in my body was tightened, on the defense.  My fists were clenched at my sides.  My jaw clenched, unmoving.  I couldn’t speak, even if I had wanted to.

“Aleah?” she asked again, still sounding unsure.

I raised an eyebrow, still unable to utter a word, but acknowledging her, at least.

Her eyes darted around wildly, as if deciding if she really wanted to say what she was going to.  Her eyes settled back on me, and they looked sad.  She took a couple steps towards me and was within reach of me.  I steadied myself, unwilling to back down to her, though my hands started shaking.  I had my phone gripped tightly, now, in my one hand, ready to scream and call for help. 

The sadness in her eyes quickly changed to ice.  She appeared to be seething as she opened her mouth and spat, “You fucking ruined our lives.”  There was poison in her tone, yet she said it as calmly and matter-of-factly as if she was telling me my shoe was untied.

As I watched the undeserved hate seeping out of her pores, and could see that she wanted to strangle the life out of me right then, a feeling I’d never felt before washed over me.  It started with a burning in my chest, and spread like wildfire through every inch of my body out to the tips of my toes and the top of my head. 

Without thinking and before I could stop myself, the anger erupted, shooting out of me like a volcano.  I reached back, and before she could blink, I swung my arm, slapping her hard across the face.  The sound of my palm connecting with her cheek resonated through me, and made me jump.  But all it did was unleash a monster of vile words.

“You.  You are so.  Fucking.  Pathetic.  You are blindly devoted to that whore of a man who had a relationship with me.  A horrible, ridiculous relationship, the whole time he was engaged to you.  The whole time!  And you hated me, and believed his toxic lies because you are so needy of that... that piece of shit who tried to RAPE ME!”  I was screaming at this point, angry tears leaving hot streams down my face, and pointing my finger at her accusingly.  Her hand was on her reddened cheek, and her eyes were saucer-like, as she watched me in horror.  “I don’t know if you had anything to do with his psychotic little plan.  For all I know, you handed the key to the building over to him, hoping he’d kill me.  But unbeknownst to you and your disgusting blind eye for... for him, he had been eyeing me and begging for me to have sex with his cheating dick since he met me last year.  I hope you get charged with conspiracy and end up locked up right along with him.  You two just deserve each other.  I may have emotional scars from this, but I will heal.  You are just a horrible human being, and there’s no recovering from that.” 

I started quick walking the few steps to my car, bumping my shoulder into hers, accidentally, knocking her out of my way.  I took a deep breath, and opened my car door.  Before sitting in it, I looked at her one last time.  The sadness had returned to her eyes, and she was crying, still holding her cheek.  I took another deep breath.  “And Victoria?”  Her eyes shifted up to me, from staring at the pavement.  “I feel really sorry for you.”

I got in my car and shut the door, and locked it.  I gripped my steering wheel, and saw, once again, that my hands were violently shaking.  My breathing was uneven.  I hurried and backed up and drove to my house.  I parked and leaned forward, resting my forehead on the steering wheel, and let the sobs take over my body.