Riding in Truck with Boy

It turns out that Aaron didn’t know that Luke was being released, because he had been in a training that whole day, along with Brad.  However, as soon as I spoke with him, he had rushed over and stayed the night with me, keeping me close.  He gave the reassurance I needed but refused to ask for.

Even though I had an underlying feeling of dread clouding my mood, the weather outside had been gorgeous, and when I wasn’t in classes or at practice/matches, I was spending every second outside.

On Tuesday, I was walking out of practice, and had just slung my tennis bag into my trunk when I heard a loud buzzing from inside my car.  I slammed the trunk closed and opened my driver’s door, to see my phone, which I’d left in the cup holder, lit up with a notification of a text.

I opened it up to see a message from Aaron:  Picking you up at 1.  Dress for the outdoors and walking.

I smiled and started my car.  Aaron had been busy at work recently.  There had been a double homicide he was the lead on, and it was taking up a lot of his time.  However, no matter how crazy either of our schedules were, we had agreed that on Tuesdays, everything would be put aside for date night.  Usually we planned something together, or just ordered in and watched Netflix or grabbed some movies from Redbox.  But he also knew I loved surprises.  I giggled giddily to myself, excited to see what he had planned.

We had decided on Tuesdays mainly because that was my “early day.”  Practice was a relaxed day of a mile run and open hitting for a half hour.  We signed up for a time with a designated partner, so coaches could check in if they wanted.  And since it was my last semester, I only had 12 credit hours, and most of them were “easy” classes, because I’d scheduled it that way on purpose.  I only had 1 class on Tuesdays, and it was in the morning, so I was done for the day.  However, I was surprised Aaron was leaving work early. 

I showered quickly and elected to wear my grey Sperry’s, pale green skinny jeans, a flowing white shirt and a grey cardigan.  I threw my hair into a low side pony, and swiped on minimal makeup.

At 12:58 I heard a knock on my door.  I ran downstairs and flung open the door.  Aaron was holding a single red rose out towards me.  I raised my eyebrows in surprise.  “Special occasion?”

He grinned and wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me against him.  I inhaled his cologne deeply, kissing him lightly.  He pulled away, “Just because.”

“I’ll take it,” I grinned, and took the rose from his hand and quickly put it in water.  “Thank you,” I called from the kitchen.

“Ready?”

“Yep!” I skipped over to him, my hand magnetically finding his, and he escorted me out to his real car (truck), opening the door for me.  He can only drive his squad car inside county lines, so I had an idea we were leaving the county.  Compared to my tiny sports car, I loved riding around in his massive recent year Toyota Tundra.

After he pulled onto the highway, Aaron tentatively said, “Hey, Aleah, I need to talk to you about something.”

I turned to him, and looked at him suspiciously.  “Well, this doesn’t sound good.”

He sighed.  “No, sorry.  It’s nothing terrible.  I just know right now is kind of a... trying time for you with everything going on.”  I knew he was referring to Luke’s release.  He looked over at me, quickly studying my facial expression, and continued.  “The first three weeks of June, I was offered to go to and was approved to attend Crash Reconstruction Training in Philadelphia.  It’s going to be an awesome training and so cool to learn all of that.  It involves a lot of math like trigonometry and algebra and will really stretch me.  I’ll be the only detective in the office who will have that training because the other one is retiring in August!”  He was so animated and excited, his hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel moving rapidly in front of him.  When he finished talking, he was looking at me expectantly.

I busted out laughing.

He furrowed his brows at me.  “What?”

“It’s just,” I took a deep breath, to collect myself, “it’s so adorable how nerdy you are getting excited about math.”  He chuckled.  “But, you’re right, that’s so amazing, and I’m so happy for you!”

“Well, you don’t have a job yet, do you?

It was my turn to sigh.  I hadn’t been over-actively searching for a full time job.  As spoiled as it sounded, I knew that I technically wouldn’t need to work right away financially.  My parents had told me when I started college that they would fully support my living needs throughout my school career and 3 months after graduating, but then I better be prepared to help myself, or they wouldn’t be helping me anymore.  I was going to be working at the city park again teaching tennis lessons, and continue working at the racquet club, but unless I wanted to become certified and start teaching full time at the racquet club (which the manager had offered, or rather was begging, me to do), I couldn’t afford to work part time there and live.  I really didn’t know what I wanted to do, and had already decided I would substitute teach, if push came to shove, while I got certified to teach tennis lessons. 

“Not aside from teaching tennis all summer.”

“Why don’t you come with me?  I’ll be in training during the days, but we would have the evenings to explore and go out, and you could do whatever you wanted during the days, too.  And if not for the full time, maybe either the first or last week that I’m there?”

I contemplated that briefly.  “I may take you up on that,” I said, nodding my head, thinking that I could probably swing that.  “Can I think about it, look at my schedule, and make sure I could get some time off for that?”

He reached his hand over and grabbed mine and squeezed.  “Of course.”

I hadn’t even realized how much time had gone by during the drive, and sat up excitedly, when Aaron pulled into Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo and Aquarium.

I gasped.  “Aaron!  I love the zoo!”

He laughed.  “We have a lot to see, so we better get going, then!”

He opened up his car door and started to get out but I grabbed his forearm, to stop him.  I pulled him back and leaned in, pushing my lips hard against his.  “Thank you,” I whispered against his lips.

Frantic

I ran my fingers through my hair, as it cascaded down over the text book I was trying to read.  Graduation was a month away, and I was trying to get caught up on reading to finish the semester strong.  We’d been traveling a lot for tennis, and so I’d missed a lot of class.  There were only 3 weekends left of tennis matches before my college tennis career was over.  I was already in mourning.

My hair had lightened because of the sun, and I was inspecting my brittle ends, seemingly just realizing that I hadn’t gotten my hair cut since before “the incident.”  I made a mental note to call my stylist in the morning to get an appointment.

I looked up from my book to look at the framed picture of Aaron and I that I had mounted on my desk.  I unwillingly smiled.  It’d been almost 2 months since we became “official” and I couldn’t imagine having any other male involved in my life like that.  He was more supportive than anyone else had been able to be, though I’m sure that was due to his experience and his career.

My phone started vibrating angrily on the desk, causing me to jump and snap out of my daydreaming.  I looked at the display and saw it was from “Unknown Number.”

I answered, curious as to whom it might be.  “Hello?”

“Is Aleah Lange available?”

“Yes, this is she.  May I ask who is calling?”  My mom had taught me polite phone skills growing up.

“This is Officer Porter at the Lancaster County Correctional Facility.  I’m calling to alert you that Lucas Hammond’s bail has been posted and he is set to be released at 6:12 a.m. tomorrow morning, April 8^th, 2015.”

I froze, the phone slipping from my hand and crashing loudly onto my desk and then dropping to the floor.   

My palms began sweating, my hands shaking.  The ticking of my clock became a loud cymbal in contrast to the deafening silence of everything else, closing in around me.

I blinked a few times then hurriedly snatched my phone back up, to hear Officer Porter calling out hello and my name over and over.

“Yes, yes sorry.  I’m here,” I rushed.  “I’m sorry, I dropped my phone.  Did you... did you say Luke is getting bailed out?”

“I did, and we had orders stating to notify you if and when that happened.”

“Right, who bailed him out?”

“Ma’am, I can’t answer that.  I just needed to let you know he’s being released.  If you have any other questions, you can contact the detective assigned to your case.”

I couldn’t speak.  I heard him say bye, but words wouldn’t form.  Why hadn’t Brad called me, since he was assigned detective?  Why hadn’t Aaron told me, I’m sure he knew, too.  Wouldn’t they know?

I sat there stunned.  I had lifelessly dropped my phone onto the desk, and sat there slumped over, staring blankly at the picture that had just given me cause to smile only minutes earlier.

A thought played at the edges of my mind, teasing me, but not quite coming to fruition.

But then it did.  Where is it?

My eyes widened.  I needed to find it immediately.  I stood up quickly, knocking my desk chair over backwards, and went running to my purse across my bedroom.  I dumped it out on my bed, contents spilling out haphazardly.  Old receipts, chapstick, my wallet, an extra phone charger: all being spread out by my sweeping hand action.  I opened my wallet and quickly looked in the pockets, not seeing what I was frantically searching for.

I saw the stack of “papers to go through” that were on the floor next to my desk.  I dropped to my knees and flipped through them.  Not there, either.

I put my finger tips on my temples and closed my eyes, willing myself to retrace my steps the day I got it.  I know I put it somewhere safe.  My eyes flew open.

I stood up and ran to my closet, pushing clothing out of the way.  I knelt to the ground and turned the key I kept in the lock of my fireproof lockbox.  I flipped through papers to the very back, and carefully pulled out the green paperwork.  I clutched it to my chest.

I turned off the lights in my bedroom and climbed into bed, curling into a ball.  My safety blanket-the court ordered restraining order- tucked underneath my pillow.

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Hey y'all,

I'm stressed. I'm just putting it out there. I have a lot on my plate, and i know I'm not the most consistent blogger (or person, for that matter), but I've always been very candid and transparent, and have kept you informed of schedule/post changes or delays. With that being said, I'm kind of at my wit's end. The release I usually find in writing just isn't there right now, and i feel more stress to try and put up posts because my brain is fried and I'm having a hard time writing.
To completely put myself out there, my SO and I broke up about a month ago and it's been a really difficult transition to single parenting. Plus dealing with the sadness and lonliness. Kudos to you all who do the single parenting, and do it well. I'm not good at it.
In addition to that I'm trying to get a promotion at work, but in the meantime I'm kind of in a time crunch and am working a lot of overtime from home.
I'm sure I'll receive some comments about not caring about excuses or my personal life, etc. Etc. So, just go ahead and keep those thoughts to yourself.  Because,  frankly, this is MY blog and I get to choose what I share.  And i choose honesty and transparency.
All this to say I need to take a brief hiatus. I need to recuperate and sit down and take some time to refocus and actually enjoy writing. I want this to be as brief as possible.  My intention is to post again April 3rd. So in a week and a half. If for some reason that changes, of course I'll let you all know.

Thank you for your continued loyalty and comments. Know I read them all and smile a lot seeing them (well, most of them).

~A

Victorious: Part 5

My heart was pounding out of my chest.  I didn’t have the money to fly back to speak with the detective, so I was riding up with Luke’s parents.  The car ride was slow and painful.  Slow because it felt like time was standing still.  Painful because we didn’t know what was happening and we were all riding in silence. 

I tried sleeping most of the way to pass the time.

When we got to the police station that Monday, we had to wait, and then I was called back first.  I was escorted back to an interview room by Detective Stratton, the same one who had called me.

My hands were sweating and I was nervous.  I knew at this point that Luke was in jail, but didn’t know many details beyond that.  Detective Stratton started out asking me what I guess would be normal questions about me like my name, age, what I’m studying at UNL, how I know Luke,  and what our relationship was like.  He seemed calm, if not friendly. 

But then he asked me if I knew someone by the name of Aleah Lange.

That bitch.  What did she do.

I tensed up and said I did.

“And what is your relationship like with her?”

“There isn’t one.  She wanted Luke, but he didn’t want her.”

“I see, so what do you know about Aleah’s and Luke’s relationship?”

“They weren’t ever in a relationship!” I balled my fists up, under the table.  I was getting pissed.

“By relationship, I mean how do they get along?”

“They don’t,” I replied, flatly.  I also rolled my eyes.  It started to appear as if Detective Stratton was 

getting a kick out of this.

“Here’s the thing, Victoria, I’ve received information that alludes to the fact that Luke and Aleah were in a dating relationship at the end of last school year.  Do you know anything about that?”

I could feel my face getting hot, and I was seeing red.  There was no way, was there?  I attempted to keep my voice even as I said, “I don’t believe your information is true.  He’s been with me for years.”

“Where were you Friday night?”

“I was on an airplane to go home to Kansas.  Then I was in Kansas.”

He asked me questions about my flight and what time I left, go to the airport.  I started to get a really bad feeling.

“Was Luke with you?”

“Seeing as how he’s in jail right now, I’d say he probably wasn’t, wouldn’t you?  But speaking of, are you going to tell me why he’s there?  I’m sure whatever the reason, it isn’t true.”

Detective Stratton leaned back in his chair, linking his fingers behind his head, giving me a half amused, half disgusted look.  “Do you know where he was, then, if he wasn’t with you?”

I sighed.  I was over this game.  “To my knowledge, he was supposed to be going back to my dorm apartment to get a Christmas gift I’d accidentally left there for family.”

“Do you know if he did?”

“I don’t, because after he dropped me off at the airport, he was supposed to come back and catch the flight with me, but he never did.  I texted him and called him, and he never answered me.”

“How was he going to get into your dorm?”

“I gave him my key.”

He just stared at me.  I realized, then, I probably shouldn’t have said anything.  My hand flew to my mouth, as if to stop anything else from breaking free.

“Uh, do I need an attorney?” I asked, more to myself than to him.

“That’s up to you.  You aren’t being interviewed as a suspect, at this time.  You’re free to go whenever you’d like.”

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and I didn’t even know why.  I stood suddenly, feeling an intense need to get out of the room, knocking over the chair as I stood.

I turned and ran out, to where only Luke’s mom was sitting, wiping her eyes with a Kleenex.  She looked at me sympathetically, but I didn’t know why. 

I sat down next to her, numbly.  “What is he in jail for?” I whispered.

His mom looked at me only momentarily, as if it hurt her to make eye contact.  She took a deep breath and said, “aggravated assault, sexual assault, and attempted rape.”  Her voice cracked on the last word, and my heart broke for her, for me, and because I couldn’t fight the sinking feeling and the growing pit in my stomach that it might possibly be true.