"Sunny"

My hands were sweaty, I was actually nervous.  I still hadn't spoken with Aaron, up until earlier in the day, but I had a plan.

It was Friday night, it was a week and a half since we had talked, and I was thankful when I called him earlier in the day that he didn't have plans and was available.  I had asked him to be at my house at 9 p.m., and to dress warm.

It was 8:58 and I had been checking my phone's clock approximately ever 7 seconds.  Time just seemed to be moving so slowly.  I was pacing right inside my front door in the entrance way.  I heard a car door shut and I ran over to the living room and looked to see the faint view of Aaron in my front porch light walking up to the door.  I ran over to the door, smoothing down my sweatshirt in the front, and shoving my phone into the front pocket.

I waited until he knocked, counted to 5 so it wouldn't be creepy of me to fling the door open at the same time, then opened the door.

Apparently I had been holding my breath, and it came rushing out at the sight of him.  He gave me a tired, half-smile, and I smiled shyly back at him, moving out of the way so he could enter.  He hesitated before gently grabbing my upper arms with his hands and bending down to kiss my cheek.  I reached up and put my hand on his cheek.

"It's really good to see you," I whispered.

"The same," he replied, genuinely.

I shut and locked the door, then grabbed his hand to lead him through my house.  I took him out the back door into my privacy fenced backyard.

He paused when we got out there, causing me to stop since I still had his hand.  "What's all this?"

I turned and smiled at him.  "For you."

I had put out candles on my back porch, surrounding a few heavy blankets with two thermoses of hot chocolate, and a mini cake.

We sat down on the blankets.  He grabbed my hands.  "Aleah..."

I cut him off.  "No, please let me talk first."

He nodded his head.

I looked at our clasped hands, unable to make eye contact.  "Aaron, I'm so sorry I reacted the way I did.  I needed time to process everything you said to me.  I know that was probably difficult for you to share with me.  I also know you were probably nervous how I was going to react, and I definitely didn't help the situation.  I shouldn't have asked you to leave."

He nodded his head again, so I continued.  "Aaron, I love you so much.  I cannot imagine you not being in my life.  You're my best friend.  I have a lot of questions about everything you told me, but they can wait.  The one thing I wanted to make sure you knew, was that I'm not going anywhere, and I want to work through this, with you.  And I'm not opposed to going to your therapist with you to help process all of this."

He smiled and put both hands on either side of my face, pulling me close to him and kissing me gently on my lips.  "Aleah, I missed you.  I missed getting to kiss you."  He kissed me again.  "And, thank you."

He nodded his head over to the cake.  "Did you make that?"

I blushed.  "I did... sorry the writing is basically illegible on it.  It's supposed to say ' Sorry.'"  It looked like it said "Sunny."  Completely opposite of the mood coming in.

He laughed.  "It's okay.  I love it."  He paused.  "So... this setup seems awfully familiar..." He trailed off, grinning mischievously at me.

"I was hoping you would remember!  That night was a turning point for me in realizing I kinda liked you."  I was referencing my birthday from over a year before when he had surprised me at school with hot chocolate and cupcakes.

"Kinda?" He teased.

I blushed again.  "Yeah... kinda." I winked.

His expression turned serious, then.  "Aleah, thank you.  Seriously.  You're right, it was really hard for me to open up to you like that, and it was hurtful that you asked me to leave, but I also knew that what I said hurt you.  And I'm so sorry I hurt you.  I never want to hurt you, or leave you like that, again.  My actions disgusted me, and I was, and am, disappointed in myself, so I can't imagine how you feel.  But I'm willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

I still had tumultuous inner feelings, but I also felt more peace knowing I was going to work this out with him.  We enjoyed the rest of the evening wrapped up in blankets outside in the chilly air, talking and catching up on what we'd missed the past couple weeks.