Superbowl Party

Laying in bed on Sunday, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.  “Yeah?” I called out dryly. 

My door slowly cracked open, and Sarah poked her head in.  “Hey, girl,” she said softly.  Both she and Maddie had been walking on eggshells around me.  I didn’t blame them.  All I did was lay in bed when I wasn’t at practice or class- when I went to class, anyway.

She walked over and sat down on the edge of my bed.  I didn’t even know what time it was.  “Maddie and I are going to a Superbowl Party over at Gavin’s.  I had mentioned it a few days ago, but you never responded.  We’re going to be leaving in a couple hours.  Coming?”

I just shook my head no.  Sarah sighed loudly.  “Aleah, I love you to pieces, but this isn’t healthy.  I know you’ll need time to heal...” She paused and was staring off into space, knowing her probably searching for words.  “But you’re letting him win.  You’re letting him alter everything about you and he’s not even around.”

Luke was still in jail.  Apparently no one could (or would) bail him out.  Brad (Detective Stratton) had been in pretty consistent contact with me, checking on me.  Especially after I told Aaron to stop seeing me.  Aaron must have told him and Brad picked up his slack.  Brad was keeping me in the loop, too, letting me know he had sent this over to the prosecutor.  Since Luke was caught in the act, this was a pretty cut and dry case, but he assumed Luke would plead not guilty and this would go to trial, using the fact that we had dated and this was just a hook-up after the fact as his defense.

“I’m just tired,” I lamely stated.

“Aleah,” Sarah snapped.  “Seriously.  You spend most of your hours in bed.  There is no way in hell you are tired.”

“Sorry.”

“Well, if you change your mind, let us know before we go.”

When the door clicked shut behind her, my body released the tense muscles, defeated.  I knew she was right, but I just couldn’t seem to force myself to move.  Or really do much of anything.  Truth be told, I was terrified.  I was scared to go out in the world.  Brad had promised me that he would let me know if and when Luke was bailed out, the moment it happened. 

Hours passed, and I finally heard Maddie and Sarah leave.  They tried convincing me one more time to go, but I had refused.  I hadn’t eaten since Friday night when my mom had come over and basically force-fed me.  My stomach was growling and cramping in anger.  I decided to go look in the kitchen to see if there were some crackers or something I could nibble on.

I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen and pulled open a cupboard and stared blankly.  There were crackers and chips and other things.  Nothing sounded good, but I finally settled on some Goldfish.  I grabbed the bag and started heading towards the stairs to go back to my room.  I had just placed my foot on the first step when the doorbell rang.  I froze.

My heart leapt into my throat, and was trying to beat its way out.  I opened my mouth to ask who it was, but I couldn’t speak.  My breathing was shallow and quick.

A quiet, still voice in the back of my mind told me to be strong.

I focused on my breathing again, making it slow down.  I knew it wasn’t my parents, because they had a key and would’ve just let themselves in.  Everyone else I knew was out at Superbowl parties, I was sure.

I took a few steps towards the door, cursing myself for leaving my phone in my room.  I opened the closet next to the front door and grabbed the metal baseball bat I made sure was there now.  I gripped it tightly, to the point that my knuckles were white.

I placed my hand on the doorknob, and searched for my voice.  “Who is it?” I croaked.  I also realized, too late, I could’ve looked through one of the front windows or the peephole, but part of me didn’t want anyone to actually see me before I knew my plan of attack.

“Aleah, it’s Aaron,” rang his familiar voice.

I relaxed and sighed, not realizing how tightly all my muscles were tensed, once again.  My heart was still beating quickly, but for a different reason.

I opened the door, and Aaron appraised me.  I grimmaced, knowing I looked, and probably smelled, not good.  He was carrying a large bag.  “What are you doing here?”  My voice sounded cold.  Colder than the below freezing temperatures.

He ignored my tone and pushed past me.  “I’m here for the party,” he said nonchalantly. 

I stared at the back of his head as he made his way towards the kitchen.  “What party?”

He didn’t respond.  I shut and locked the door and followed the sounds of drawers opening and closing in the kitchen.

“What party?” I asked again, this time out of confusion.

“The Superbowl party,” he stated matter-of-factly, as if this was something I should have known about.

“If you’re referring to the party that Maddie and Sarah were going to, they left, and it isn’t here.  Although, honestly, it’s a little weird they’d invite you.  No offense.”

At that, he turned to look at me, a half-smile playing on his lips.  He walked over to me and placed his hands on each of my shoulders.  “Go shower.”

I frowned at him, though deep down I was embarrassed that he knew I hadn’t.  Truthfully, I didn’t shower unless someone was at home.  I wanted to be alert and not vulnerable.  I obediently turned and made my way to my bathroom.

After showering, and in clean sweats and a tshirt, I went back downstairs, where I heard the tv tuned in to the game.  It must have already started.  But I didn’t hear any voices.  I peeked into the kitchen and didn’t see anyone.  I went to the living room and saw Aaron, in there by himself, sitting on the couch leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.  I stood there watching him momentarily, as he conversed with the tv about a play that he didn’t agree with.  I felt a smile tickling my lips.  It felt foreign.

I walked around the couch and sat down next to him, tucking my feet underneath me. 

“Feel better?”

I shrugged.  “I thought I told you that we shouldn’t see each other.”  I said it as a statement on purpose.

He muted the tv and turned his body towards me.  “You did.”

I looked at him, bewildered.  “That’s all you’re going to say?”

He scooted closer to me, and placed his hand on my cheek.  I leaned my face into it, before I realized what I was doing, my eyes closed.  “Aleah,” I heard his voice soft.  I didn’t open my eyes, but he continued.  “You didn’t mean that.  We both know it.  I already told you that I’m not going anywhere.  I pursued, and am pursuing, you, because I like you a lot and I really care for you.  You’re hurting, and I know this.  But I’m here for you, and we will help you overcome this and heal together.  And if you are weak, and feel like you’re falling, I’m right here beside you and I promise I will catch you.  I feel very protective of you, and to the best of my ability, I won’t allow anyone to ever hurt you.”

For the first time in a month and a half, a tear worked its way through my closed eyelids, and fell down my cheek, resting on Aaron’s hand.  He brushed his thumb against my cheek, wiping it away.  But just as quickly another one fell.  And then another, until I was quietly sobbing.  Aaron pulled me against him, and I laid my head on his chest, crying, while he rubbed my back, letting me.  He didn’t say anything.  He didn’t need to.  He just held me.  He was giving me everything I that I had needed.