This Could Ruin Everything: Aaron's perspective

And we froze.

Aleah.

What were mere seconds felt like hours. We said nothing, but everything.

Everything inside of me wanted to gather her in my arms and hold her close, but on the outside I had to remain cold and aloof.  I couldn't have Tito or his girl, Gina, turn around and catch any type of interaction.  At best, Tito would try to take her home, despite Gina's presence.  At worst... well, lets not talk about at worst. If he suspects I'm anyone other than who I'm portraying to be, everyone either of us knows will be in witness protection for the rest of our lives.

This could ruin everything.

Through her eyes I saw the whole spectrum of emotions:  joy, hurt, confusion, anger, fear, and lastly, realization.  I held her gaze just enough, but not anywhere near enough.  I quickly looked her up and down.  Damn, she looks gorgeous.  I want to touch every inch of her body with every inch of mine, but alas...

I was about to head back into the middle bar, when my eyes darted past her to see who she was with.  Well, fuck.  Just, fuck. 

My mother was there, too?  How in the hell, and why?

I closed my eyes and pushed through the door, praying that only Aleah saw me.  I also sent a silent message to her, that she would avert anyone she was with away from me.

As I stalked back to the bar to get Gina another drink, I grabbed a pen sitting on someone's receipt left on the bar, and a napkin, and scribbled a quick message.  I looked to see Aleah making her way through the bar, watching me closely, with Sarah, my mom, and Rosa following behind.  I turned my back to them, hoping they don't notice me.  Aleah was in front and I turned my head to the right to see her start to brush past me, and I stuffed the napkin into her hand, while she was next to me. 

I waited until her group made their way into the karaoke bar, and I went back to where Tito, Jose, and Gina were.  They were set up in VIP of course.  I couldn't even believe this place had a "VIP" section.  And they already had a harem of what Jose and I refer to as "vultures."  The girls that want to be part of what you are.  I didn't even want to be at this fucking place to begin with tonight.  Gina had made us food before we left, and every time she cooks I get sick.  Every.  Single.  Time.

The good news is, Tito and Gina both know it, so when I disappear in 10 minutes to meet Aleah, they won't come looking for me.

I know I look distracted, and I catch Tito watching me.  I nod a "what's up" at him.  He hollers over at me, "Selection here not good enough?" as he gestures to the 5 or 6 girls that have gathered.  I give him a half smile of approval, while inside my stomach is churning.  And this time, not from Gina's cooking.

My undercover orders are to act as "when in Rome."  In order for me to be trusted and get into the inner circle, I have to play and look the part.  So far, I'd managed to not fuck any girls.  I can't do it to Aleah.  I love her.  I constantly have girls surrounding me who aren't leaving much to the imagination in how they're dressed.  Some of them are really good looking, and if I was single, I would happily, and fully, be playing the part.  One of my earliest tests after meeting Tito, was trying to show I was not hiding anything and had no ties to anyone, so I could do his bidding as needed.  While Tito had a gun pointed at me, without flinching, I had to let some whore blow me.  I didn't finish.  I couldn't.  I had to block out my surroundings and think about Aleah only in order to even get it up. But finishing wasn't the point.  I had to prove to Tito that I had nothing to lose.  On the outside, I was fine.  On the inside I was crying, because I have one, who is my everything, to lose.  There would be a lot of questionable things I had to do or participate in while playing my role.  There were certain rules I couldn't break, others I could toe the line, and some my superiors would look the other way. 

I look at my burner phone.  One minute.  I break away from the two girls that are laying it on thick with me, and go over to Tito. I lean down so he can hear me and say, "Gina's cooking."  I stand back up and he laughs, and I head to the middle bar, where the bathroom is.

I don't know what architect built this joint, but they're an idiot.  However, I'm thanking them at that moment.  The bathrooms there were single bathrooms.  The girls' had a line, of course.

I push open the guys' bathroom door and look behind me to see Aleah taking quick steps in shoes that are ungodly high towards the bathroom. I can't hide the smile, though, at seeing her.

I check behind her and didn't see anyone I recognize.  I held the door open for her, and she entered.  I closed it, locked it, and immediately turned to her and pushed her against the wall, pressing my mouth hard against hers. 

I wanted to taste her, feel her, breath her in.  I needed to. 

She kissed me back, just as hungrily.  I grab her waist, having forgotten how perfectly it fits inside the grip of my hands.  The kissing lasts minutes.  Hell, I don't know, maybe hours.  Realistically, though, minutes.

I reluctantly pull away, but rest my forehead against hers.

"Aaron," she whispers.  I place a finger over her mouth, silencing her.

"I love you.  Please don't say my name."  I pause.  "I love you.  You look amazing.  I've missed you so much.  I love you."

I feel her muscles relax.  "I love you.  When are you coming home."  It was a statement.

I sighed.  "Not soon enough.  I'm not sure.  It could be awhile.  Unfortunately, a long time.  Did I mention I've missed you?"

She smiled.  I would do anything to make her smile, to keep her smiling, to be able to see her smile.

Before she could say anything, I continued.  "Aleah, you need to listen to me.  These people I'm working with... they're bad.  They're extremely dangerous.  I'm in deep and can't get out right now.  But they can have no knowledge of who you are, or who I am.  I'm not sure how long we'll be here tonight, but I need you to get out of here.  Get my mom out of here.  I can't risk Sarah, my mom, or Rosa seeing me and blowing my cover.  If you see me in here again, don't look at me.  Pretend I don't exist tonight."  The deep sadness that clouded her face caused a part of me to die right then.  "Please be strong.  There's so much I want to tell you, and so much I want to ask you, but I just don't have time right now.  If you ever think there's someone following you or watching you, or anything, let Brad know immediately.  There's another guy I'm undercover with, his name is Jose.  Well, his real name isn't, but that's a whole other story. I just want you to know I'm not alone, and we're looking out for each other."

She nodded her head, but I could see the fear etched across her forehead, and trailing through her eyes.  I kissed her gently, again, first on the forehead, then the tip of the nose, and finally on her lips. 

I stepped back to look her up and down and take her fully in, knowing that I may not see her for a long time.  I want the image of her burned into my brain.  I see a tear make its way slowly down her face.  I brushed it off with my thumb, letting my hand linger on her cheek.  "Babe, I know this is hard.  At least until you get home, I need you to be strong.  And especially walking out of this bathroom, I need you to act like everything is okay.  Or, rather, act like we just met and I fucked the life out of you.  If anyone is out there who knows me, I can't have them think I know you."

"I wish you would," she quietly said.

"You wish I would what?"

She smiled sadly at me, but there was a slightly mischievous look behind the sadness.  She shyly said, "You know... fuck the life out of me."

She blushed and I laughed, moving closer to her.  I love the innocent side of her.  The spontaneous, adventurous side, too.  I side nodded to our surroundings.  "Really?  In here?"

I saw her briefly look around the bathroom, and back at me.  "I mean, you want to make it look believable when we walk out of here, right?"

I studied her face closely.  She looked so innocent, yet truly like she wanted to help.  And beneath it all, she looked as if she really just wanted me with her for as long as possible. 

I didn't answer her.  I kiss her in response.  I'm already ready for her; I was the minute I laid eyes on her.  I unbutton my jeans, and unzip them, pushing them and my boxer briefs down to my knees.  She coils a hand around me and I moan into her mouth.  I roughly push her short things to the side, and feel she has no panties on.  I smile into our kiss, and let a finger feel her.  She's just as ready for me.  I push that finger into her and she intakes a breath, sharply.  I remove it, and she lets go of me, and I guide myself into her gently.  I know this isn't going to take long, for either of us.  I press my thumb against her as I thrust.

She presses her mouth into my shoulder and makes some muffled noises, or something.  I don't know, I can't focus on much other than her tightening around me, putting the cherry on top of this cake, as I quietly groan her name into her ear.  We stay like that for a time, me supporting her, and I can sense she's shaky.

After she feels stable, she loosens her grip on me.  She looks at me, shyly, again, and makes her way to the toilet.  She cleans herself off, and I get myself straightened back up. 

Before we walk out, I put my hands on her cheeks.  "I love you, sweet girl.  When it gets hard, or the nights seem long, remember that."

I unlock the bathroom door, taking one more long look at her.  Her hair is slightly disheveled looking, but I don't fix it.  When I open the door, I'm glad I hadn't.  Because standing there, was Tito.