Life by Zach: Reflections

As I boarded my plane back to school, I sighed to myself with relief. It’s been a good couple of days. Even though my time at home was short, I loved being with my family. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, I mean come on, how can it not be? There’s football, family, drinks and all the amazing food you can eat. My mother makes a ridiculously good turkey dinner, and we ate leftovers for two days.

I had a chance to talk with my parents about everything that has happened over the past couple of weeks, and my father gave me some really good insight.

“Son, sadly, not everyone is going to be the person you want them to be. You are a good kid, and you have a good heart, so it is in your nature to assume that everyone that comes into your life is going to be that way. But you cannot will someone to be a certain way, because the bottom line is that some people are just out for themselves.”

I took a moment to let that sink in.

“But how do I know Dad?”

“I wish I could tell you there is some formula or tell-tale sign son. But there isn’t. All I can tell you is that you need to trust your instincts. That little voice in your head that tells you that something might be off. Do you know what I mean?”

I knew exactly what he meant. I had that feeling the whole time I was seeing Beth, and I definitely had that feeling when Andrew asked me for help. In fact, I was reluctant to give him my paper but at the last minute decided to ignore that feeling and just go with trusting him.

“But what about Ben? I never saw this coming from him.”

“Son, you and Ben are very different. You have different views on life, you were raised differently and you have a different attitude towards your future and school. That does not mean that you can’t be friends or aren’t there for one another, but sometimes these differences lead to misunderstandings or arguments. At that point, the friendship or relationship is tested and you can determine if communication and mutual respect and understanding can get you through it, or if sadly, it’s a lost cause. You will learn in life that not everyone is meant to stay in your life. Some people are simply passing through, they may be intense experiences, painful experiences or even sad ones, but you should always reflect and learn because that’s how you become better at treading people and knowing who is right for you.”

I looked down at my food and realized my father was right, and I also realized how much more I had to learn about life. Ben and I are very different, I just never thought that could lead to the potential end of a friendship. Then inevitably, I thought about Aleah

As though she read my mind, my mother tells me that she saw Aleah a couple of months ago. 

“Did you? How is she?”

“She’s doing well, she is very busy. I told her that you would love to hear from you.”

“Mom! That’s not necessary!”

 

“Honey she said she doesn’t want to bother you, but I know she cares for you deeply as well. The two of you are in different states, in different schools and you are experiencing different things. This is a part of your life that you both have to go through to grow as people. And if it is meant to be, you will find your way back to one another someday. Until then, remain kind and remain friends.”

I knew my mom was right.

I know in my heart that I love Aleah and will always love her. The time we spent together was and remains special; the bond we have will never be broken. But that doesn’t change that she and I are in different places at the moment, and we need to experience our lives separately. I will always be her friend, and I know I will always hope that we find a way back to one another someday.

The rest of my visit was relaxing, and I was ready to come back to school and begin my internship and teaching assistant position for Professor Henke.

I didn’t talk to Ben  at all over break, I did send him a happy thanksgiving text but I never heard back from him. It bothered me but at the same time, after the talk with my dad I just decided to let it go for a while.

On a more exciting note, the evening I flew back, I had my first date with Lauren. She and I texted back and forth over break and she was back from her animal extinction seminar.

I was excited to see her and decided we should go to this casual little burger bar called Harry's. They have all kinds of little sliders with ridiculous toppings like mango salsa and stuffing. Who wouldn't like that?

 We decided to meet there because Lauren had some work to finish. I'm kind of an old school guy and would have wanted to pick her up, but I also figured I should respect her on this one.


The restaurant is very casual so I just wore jeans and a button up and my favorite pea coat, and I got there a few minutes early. As I sat and waited I wondered nervously whether Lauren would turn out to be another Beth, but then my father's advice came back into my mind and I decided to just relax and trust my gut. Just then the door swept open and Lauren walked in, and I couldn't help but feel a huge smile creep onto my face.

Now, you guys may or may not be an Anna Kendrick fan but I am. I think she's super cute, but above all she's so funny and seems so down to earth. Lauren reminded a lot of her, she's just as petite and her hair and features are the same as well. And when she walked over she tripped over her own feet and immediately bust into laughter. This could be good.

"Hi!" she giggled enthusiastically. "Am I late?

"No, no, I'm early. It's good to see you." I gave her a quick hug and helped her out of her coat.

"it's good to see you too. How was your break?"


We spent the next few minutes catching up on our breaks and families, and when the server showed up, we both grinned at him sheepishly. "I'm sorry, we haven't even looked at the menu yet." Lauren apologized.

"Not to worry, take your time. But let me just tell you that today we have a very special slider, its the MOAS - Mother of All Sliders."

Lauren giggled nervously. "Uhm, whats on it?"

"Oooh well. I am glad you asked. This bad boy has guacamole, two patties, bacon, pulled pork and our special rancho chipotle."

We both looked at one another and immediately burst out laughing.

"I want that!" we both said at the same time.

The server seemed pleased with his selling skills and asked us what we wanted to drink.


"I will have an Angry Orchard please." Lauren asked.

I requested a Heineken and then we both sat there for a second.

"I'm glad you wanted that burger. I feel like anyone else would have thought it was gross." I told her.

"No way!! It sounded so good! And I am not picky at all with food. It's crazy because my older brother won't eat anything but I just love to try new things."

"I'm glad. I do too. I think it's important to make an effort to try new stuff or be open to different experiences."

We both grinned at each other and so began one of the best first dates I have had in a long time.

We talked about everything and anything, school, our families, our hometowns, friends - you name it. This girl is awesome! I told her about my upcoming TA assignment, and the hospital internship, and even the whole Andrew fiasco; which she seemed to understand and agreed with my father's advice.

We finished our burgers, which were amazing, and before we both knew it, dinner was over.

"I'd love to hang out again Zach, but I have an early meeting tomorrow." She seemed kind of nervous as I helped her into her coat and walked her to her car.

"I'd like to see you again too Lauren. I had a really good time tonight and I am so glad we met."

We stopped in front of her car and she looked up at me and smiled sweetly. "Thank you for tonight Zach." With that, she leaned up on her tip toes and in what seemed like slow motion, brought her lips to mine. We kissed softly at first, and then she wrapped her arms around my neck and held me tightly as she kissed me more deeply. Just as quickly she pulled away, her cheeks flushed.

"Good night Zach." With that, she gave me a little smile and got in her car and drove off.


"Good  night Lauren," I mumbled happily.

What a great night.