Life by Zach: Flashback-Zach and Aleah's First Kiss

Life By Zach

Flashback  - Zach and Aleah’s first kiss

It’s been about a month since the day I realized Aleah and I were more than just friends; more than just neighbors. The day I held her hand at our special spot changed everything for us. My excitement to see her every day remained intact, but now it was accompanied by a racing pulse and a sense of euphoria that made me feel like I could do anything. I was also struck with this ridiculous inability to stop smiling. Even my parents noticed.

Our high school Fall mixer was this weekend, and I had decided this was the moment to make my move. After rehearsing in front of the mirror for approximately 2 weeks, I gathered up the nerve to ask Aleah to be my date. We had just finished riding our horses and I was helping her finish up in the stable when I began my well-rehearsed speech.

“So what’s going on this weekend?” I asked her casually. At least, I thought I was being casual.

“Uhm, I don’t know, nothing, I think. I have a match on Friday after school, but that’s it. How come?”

“Well, I guess I just thought, I mean I wondered…” I was stammering like an idiot and started walking backwards a little bit in an effort to calm my nerves, when all of a sudden Aleah burst out laughing.

“Ohmygosh Zach!!” she sputtered, tears streaming down her face from laughing so hard.

“What??”

She pointed down at my feet, and when I looked down, I saw that I had stepped into a huge, fresh, steaming pile of horse poop.  I looked up at Aleah, not sure if I was angry or embarrassed, or what I should feel, and then the comedic timing of the moment struck me and I burst into laughter as well. We both stood there gasping for breath as I tried to free my foot from the messy pile of crap and that moment made me remember just why I felt the way about her I did. Seems weird I know, but bear with me. The thing is, we can just be ourselves. I don’t need a speech, or some pretense of being the cool football star. She’s Aleah, my friend, my neighbor, and someone I can be 100% myself with. We can make fun of each other, laugh about silly things, and never have to feel awkward about silly moments such as this one.

“Oh man, I am such an idiot,” I laughed as she handed me an old rag to wipe my boot with.

“It’s ok, I needed that laugh.”

“Yeah anything I can do to help,” I grinned. “But anyway, listen.  There’s this dance Saturday. You wanna go?”

“Hmmm. Ok, I guess. As long as you don’t wear those boots. You smell horrible,” she giggled.

I flicked the soiled rag in her direction and she screeched with laughter and turned to run away from me.

“I’ll pick you up at 8!” I yelled after her, unable to wipe the enormous grin off my face.  That went well.

I’m not sure if, as we grow up, we ever feel the kind of anticipation and excitement that we feel when we are young and in love. It’s so all-consuming: the knotted stomach, the beating heart, that nauseated feeling that only when in-love actually feels good. I won’t say I haven’t felt that again, but somehow, the intensity of it was deepest in high school. Deepest with Aleah. Maybe we grow up and stop believing in magic, or maybe we settle for the wrong people and just accept the lack of, what is it, passion?  Anyway. I digress.

The dance wasn’t formal, but I wanted to make sure I looked good. I chose a brand new pair of dark blue jeans, a dark grey Rolling Stones T-shirt  and my favorite black jacket. I paired the outfit with my grey lace-less Chuck Taylors, because they made me feel comfortable, and I know Aleah loves them. I ran my usual hair stuff through my hair, and as I glanced in the mirror, I gave myself a thumbs up. This was followed immediately by a moment of mortification and then relief that I was all by myself and no one saw. I do stuff like that all the time, even now, and always end up grateful that no one caught me in my moment of total dork-ness.

 “Zach! You look great,” Aleah’s mom exclaimed as she opened the door. “And these flowers, oh my…”

I decided to get Aleah these very rare, light purple roses I saw in a movie once. They don’t have any thorns and I knew Aleah would love them. They cost a fortune, but luckily I had enough saved up and was able to buy them easily.

“Are your shoes clean?” I heard, and looked up as Aleah came down the stairs. I swear I started hearing the song from “She’s All That” in my head as she descended in what definitely seemed like slow motion.

She was wearing a white strapless dress, and her long hair was curled softly towards the ends. She had makeup on tonight, a pale pink lipstick that made her full lips look even more beautiful and her hazel eyes were framed with a dark eye shadow that gave her a look that was the perfect combination of sexy but still innocent. I tried really hard not to stare at her legs, but I’m pretty sure I failed miserably. Those heels she was wearing were making her long legs look even more amazing than they usually do.

“My shoes are clean thank you very much,” as I made a grand sweeping gesture to show of my chucks. “Your flowers, madame.”

“Zach…these are incredible.”

“They’re thorn-less. Which means they’re pretty much perfect, kind of like…OUCH!” I cried as Max, Aleah’s yorkipoo puppy sank his teeth directly into my ankle.

“Max NO! Bad boy!!” Aleah admonished the little guy, who was now happily licking her nose. Lucky puppy.

“Let me take a picture of you kids, put your arm around her Zach,” Aleah’s mom ordered.

I stood next to her, hoping she couldn’t hear my heart beating, as I inhaled her scent. Aleah put her head on my shoulder and beamed as her mother snapped a few pictures.

“Let’s go!!!”

And with that, we walked to my Jeep. I opened the door for Aleah and then got in myself. The dance was at the Botanical Gardens Pavilion, which is a gorgeous glass structure that stands at the top of a hill. It is full of beautiful flowers and plants and was decorated with these tiny little string lights that made the whole building look like a giant sparkly garden straight out of a movie. The school really went all out. There was a DJ blasting music and a big crowd was already there, some were dancing, some were gathered in small circles talking and laughing, and some were sneaking alcohol trying to look nonchalant. Aleah and I weren’t interested in that, both of us have always been very careful to avoid alcohol and drugs and remain true to the values our parents had taught us.

I grabbed Aleah by the hand and led her to the dance floor.

“You? Want to dance?” She laughed.

“Oh yeah, I’m gonna show you a thing or two, baby!” I grinned and did a Michael Jackson/Usher twirl for her.  She burst out laughing and started in on her own silly dance moves, and before I knew it, we were having our own mini dance off, laughing and dancing without a care in the world. I don’t even remember being aware of anyone else there that night; somehow all I remember was dancing with Aleah and thinking she was the most beautiful girl in the room.  I’m not even usually much of a dancer, but with Aleah, I always feel comfortable.  We danced to the fast songs like maniacs, and I held her close when the slow ones came on. Before I knew it, the time had come to go home and all I could think was, “I don’t want this night to end.”

I think Aleah had the same thought, because as we drove home, she turned to me and said shyly, “Do you want to go to our spot?”

“Absolutely,” I said. “I’ll stop at your house first so you can change out of your heels.”

After Aleah grabbed a pair of sneakers and a jacket, I took her hand we walked to our special spot. Usually we ride our horses there, but tonight walking seemed to make sense. As we moved together, I remember thinking how perfect the night felt, how full my heart was, and mostly, how badly I wished that this moment, this feeling, would never go away.

We sat down when we got there, and Aleah turned to me right away. “Zach, I had such a good time with you. But I’m kind of scared…”

“What?” I didn’t expect that. ‘What are you scared of?”

She paused and looked down. Then she took a big breath and quickly said “We’re such good friends. I come to you when I’m hurt, or sad. If we start to be more, then what will I do if you’re the one that hurts me? I can’t imagine you not being in my life…” She stopped talking and looked up at me, and I felt as though my heart stopped.

“Aleah. I will never, ever hurt you. I will always be your friend, I will always be there for you, no matter what happens between us.  I don’t just like you Aleah, I respect you. I care about you, and I want nothing more than to make sure you are always happy.”

I wish I knew back then that someday, making her happy might mean that I would have to let her go, even if just for a little while. But maybe that’s what you’re supposed to do with someone you love, for someone you love. Let them become who they are supposed to become, so that when you come back to one another, the timing is right for your story to continue together. 

“I feel that way too, Zach. You’re more than just my friend, and I know I will always want what’s best for you.”

At that moment we heard a branch break in the darkness, and Aleah jumped and moved closer to me. Time seemed to stand still. I turned my head towards her and she looked up at me, a small smile on her face. I brushed her hair away from her eyes and gently ran my fingers over her pink cheeks, which seemed to get three shades darker. She always blushes when she’s nervous, and it makes her even more beautiful. I leaned towards her and our lips met, softly at first and then suddenly with urgency that I had never even known existed. She felt so right, so soft, and so perfect. Her hands were tangled in my hair and both my hands cupped her face. We both stopped at the same time and stared at each other, my hands still holding her face, drinking her in. Neither one of us had to say anything; we both just knew how right this was.

It was a perfect kiss, a perfect night, and a memory that is burned into my heart. I walked her home that night, kissed her one more time, and then sank into my bed, wondering if anything could ever top that moment. So far, nothing, nor anyone, has.