Love is in the Air

Dear Aleah,

I miss you already.  As much as I didn’t want to leave, you and I both know I couldn’t stay.  I valued the time we just had together, catching up, among other things!  Let’s not wait so long before we speak again, next time.  And of course, if it’s meant to be, it will happen when the timing is right.  I love you.

Always yours, Zach

That’s the note I found in my bag when I was unpacking Saturday night.  I’m a procrastinator, naturally, and so although I got back to my apartment Wednesday, I had just thrown my bag onto the floor of the bedroom by my bed, ignoring it.  I don’t know when he slipped the note in there- probably when I was sleeping- but I cried, reading it.  Zach is, and always will be, not only my first love, but my best friend.  I folded it back up and tucked it into a wooden box I own.  My grandpa had made it for me when I was younger, and I kept everything precious on this earth to me, in that box.  I took out the earrings and put them on top of the note, as well.  I continued unpacking my bag and also found a t-shirt of Zach’s.  I smiled, and then put it on top of my pillow on my bed, to keep his scent as close to me as possible, for as long as it would last.  He must’ve remembered I always had a thing about wearing his t-shirts back in high school, and had insisted on taking one with me freshman year of college, before we broke up.  After we broke up, in a moment of bitterness, I had torn it up to use as a sweat rag while playing tennis.  I mean, although it was a mutual break up, more or less, there was still a lot of pain associated with it.

I finished unpacking and collapsed on the bed.  I lay with my head on his shirt, closing my eyes, pretending for just a moment that he was near me.  I heard the bedroom door open and knew it was Sarah.  I didn’t even open my eyes.  “Oh Aleah, come on.  You’ve been kinda mopey and sad since Zach left.  I know he’s basically perfect for you.  And hot.  But you aren’t together, and pouting isn’t going to change that.”

I looked at her, finally, and sighed loudly and dramatically.  “Then what do you suggest that we do?” I threw the back of my hand to my forehead and sighed again.  Sarah hopped over and jumped on top of me, smashing me.  For a thrower, she’s small, but still is taller than me, and has a bigger frame than me.

“Let’s go out!”  She yelled at me, excitedly.

“Can’t go out… can’t… breath…”  I may have been exaggerating, a teeny bit.

She rolled off of me and grabbed my arm, dragging me out of bed.  I started laughing.  “Fine!  You win!  Where do you want to go?”

“Haymarket.  We could bar hop.”  Haymarket is a historic area of Lincoln that is really starting to grow like crazy.  They have several bars and gastro-pubs in the area, among great restaurants.  We decided to go to N Zone, a sports bar.  I preferred that, because I didn’t feel like getting all fancy-schmancy dressed up.

I threw on some jeans and Uggs, and an over-sized button up sheer shirt, and decided it was a go.  I left my hair in a messy pony tail, touched up my eye-liner, and told Sarah I was ready to rock.  We got there at 8:45, just in time to order some food.  We decided to split a couple of appetizers:  Nachos Grande and Loaded Potato Skins.  Aside from my general love of food, I have a special spot in my heart-or belly, whichever you prefer- for appetizers.  The food, along with a Blue Moon (my favorite beer, ever), is exactly what I needed.  In addition to my Sarah, of course.  Some nights, although we usually like “classier drinks” just getting out in a sports bar is perfect.  We had a couple of shots.  We laughed and joked and watched tv’s.  A couple of guys tried to sidle up to us and buy us some drinks, but we turned them down.  We were there for us.

After I finished my beer, and had a shot in me, Sarah broached the subject of Zach.

“I’m sorry he left.”

I looked at her sadly.  “Me, too.”

“For what it’s worth, I like him a lot more than Derek, and I feel like he’s your perfect match.  I’ve never seen you light up like that, before.  Not even when you and Derek first started dating.”

Hearing Derek’s name reminded me that we needed to speak.  Since The Incident (as I’ve now labeled it), he had called me a few times, but not only did I have no desire to speak with him, my time was also wrapped up in Zach.  Literally and figuratively.  After spending this time with Zach, not only was the reality of Derek’s and my future buried deep in my heart, but it was slapped right in front of my face.  There was no going back.  There was no making it work.  There was no “us.”

“ALEAH.”  I shook my head and snapped my head to look at Sarah.  She had a look like she had said my name a few times.

“Ah, sorry.  I zoned out.  Lost in thought.  Yeah, there is no one like Zach.  But you reminded me that I need to talk to Derek.”  I had told Sarah about what had happened.  I had asked her to not share with Maddie and Elena.  Not because I didn’t want them to know, but because it really was a terrible night and I didn’t want to rehash the details over again. 

Our waitress walked up then with our next round of drinks, and two shots.  “Did you order us shots?” I asked Sarah.

“No,” she looked at me, confused.

Our waitress pointed over to the same guys we had sent away earlier.  They were looking at us smiling.  We rolled our eyes, but grabbed the shots.

Sarah said, “To a night of no boys!”

I raised my shot, “To free shots!”  And we clinked our shot glasses and gulped them down.

Later on, we got home and the lights were still on in the living room.  Sarah and I both looked at each other, confused.  We had closed down the bar, so we were walking in at 2:15 a.m., and usually both of our roommates, if not out with us, were asleep at this time.  We walked in and Maddie and Elena were sitting on the couch, talking.  Elena jumped up, and ran over to us, waving her hand backwards in our faces.  She had said yes!