Champagne Toasts and Butterflies

After the fiasco at dinner, I left and went home for the night to get some rest.  My mom apologized to me before I left and said she didn’t know.  I told her it wasn’t her fault, I should’ve updated her.  After snotting all over Zach, I had separated uncomfortably from him.  There were a lot of things left unspoken between us, but it wasn’t a good time to talk.  All he mentioned was that he was flying back to Arizona on Wednesday.  My brother had gone to his room and shut the door, so I didn’t speak with him.  It wouldn’t have been pretty if I had.  My dad shook his head and gave me a hug  and told me his departing words that he always does when one of us is leaving from the other, “Goodbye my beautiful girl, and always remember that in my arms is where you are loved.”  He kissed my forehead.  Zach opened my car door for me and gave me one last hug goodbye and whispered in my ear, “You deserve better.”  I looked at him blankly as he closed my car door and I drove away.  My roommates were all asleep in bed, when I got home, so I just quietly got into bed and slept hard.

I met Joe early to hit, like we planned, on Saturday morning.  We didn’t hit for very long, though.  He quit and made me sit down with him on a bench next to the court, before our other teammates started showing up.  He asked me what was wrong, and said I looked exhausted.  I told him about the previous night, in all its glory.  He sat quietly and listened.  When I was done, he asked me his usual question when I come to him with issues.  “Do you want my guy answer, or my girl answer?”  I smiled at him.  “The girl answer, please.”

“Aleah, we have been friends now for two and a half years.  I value you, and respect you.  I witnessed the very end of your relationship with Zach, and your whole relationship with Derek.  As good of a guy that Derek is, does he really give you what you need?  Why are you dating him?  For fun times, or to find a life partner?  Can you really imagine spending the rest of your life with him?”  I knew he was asking me rhetorical questions.  I also knew the honest answers to all of them.  “He treats you well on the surface.  But you aren’t shallow.”

I started crying again.  I hate being emotional, especially right before a match.  “Ok Joe.  Stop.  Give me the guy answer.”

He put his arm around me and pulled me over so my head was resting on his shoulder.  “Derek’s a dick.”  I smiled.  We sat like that until the team started showing up, and then we hit again.

During the first match, I pushed my emotions aside and the killer instinct in me arose.  We were playing doubles first.  Cara, my doubles partner, was off today.  She was making a lot of mistakes, and generally seemed to be in a bad mood and out of sync with me.  I snapped at her between points.  “Get out of your slump, Cara!  Good grief.”  She busted up laughing.  I scrunched up my face at her.  “What is so funny?”  She took a deep breath and said, “What is this slum you speak of?”  I looked at her, confused.  Then I smiled.  “Slump, Cara.  Slump,” I emphasized the p.  She giggled again.  Whether intentionally or accidentally, I had the uncanny ability to make Cara laugh and relax on the court, and when that happens, everything just flows.  We ended up coming from behind to win.  Singles, not so easy for me.  I played against a foreign girl.  She was phenomenal.  I wish my parents would have sent me out of the country to play!  Maybe I could have been that much better.  Anyhow, towards the end of my singles match, I was talking to myself and walked towards the back of the court between games to pump myself up, and I looked up to see my parents sitting there, with Zach.

After my singles match, I went to speak with my parents and Zach.  My parents were talking to my coach, and Zach was standing off to the side, half-listening, half-watching me walk over.  As I walked up, he said, “You look great out there, and your game wasn’t half bad, either.”  He smiled and looked me up and down.  I blushed and rolled my eyes.  My parents hugged me.  My dad started giving me pointers and lecturing me about how I played.  I asked if they were staying for the second team we play against, after lunch.  They said they were going to stay for doubles, but needed to get back to get ready for Zach’s dad’s birthday party.  Zach asked me if I would come out to it.  I was torn.  I knew if I didn’t, I may not get a chance to speak with him again before he left, but Joe was having some of the tennis team over to that house that night, too.  I told Zach I would.  I could always hang out with the tennis people any time.  Zach, I didn’t have that luxury with.  Zach asked me if he could stay and watch my whole match, and ride with me to the party.  I told him we may be late.  He said the party was actually at a Country Club in a neighboring town, and was only 15 minutes outside of the city, as opposed to the full 45 minute drive.  I told him that was fine.  I asked if what he had on was what he was wearing, and he said it wasn’t, but would call his mom and have her take it to the Country Club for him, and he’d change there.

After my match was completely over, Zach and I went back to my apartment.  I asked him how fancy this shindig was going to be.  He said it was formal, but not black tie.  I love dressing up.  Luckily for me, my parents are well off, and big “to do’s” in the area.  They go to a lot of charity events and I had attended many of them, so I had a wardrobe that was quite extensive and would suit many occasions.  Zach turned on the tv and I jumped in the shower.  While showering, I had time to process seeing Zach again.  There was something about him that just brings normalcy to my life.  When things are rushing around and a blur, he is just my constant.  Even though it had been years, it felt like nothing had changed, except our relationship status.  Given, we did date for 4 years, but had known each other our whole lives, since we were neighbors.  I smiled to myself thinking back to some of my fondest memories of him.  I was rinsing my hair out, and was thinking about our first kiss when I heard the bathroom door open.  “Zach, not appropriate.”

The shower curtain whipped open and there was Maddie and Sarah.  “Is that THE Zach?” questioned Sarah.  “Close the curtain, nosy!  And yes.  It is.”  Maddie winked at me and said, “Wow.  Now if I were single, you’d need to watch out.”  I rolled my eyes and yanked the curtain closed.  The girls giggled and exited.  I finished showering and wrapped a towel around me.  I peeked into the living room area and saw Maddie and Sarah chatting it up with Zach.  They were laughing, and Zach looked engaged in their conversation.  Good.  They can keep him busy while I get ready.  I slipped on a matching lacy black strapless bra and thong.  I don’t know about you all, but when I wear sexy lingerie, it makes my confidence sky rocket.  I slipped into the bathroom and shut the door.  I dried/curled my hair.  My hair dresser had taught me to use a round tube brush (or whatever they’re called) to curl my hair while blow drying at it, to make loose, large curls.  I’m really not good at it, but I give it my all when I do attempt it.  I perfect my makeup, minimal but elegant, and go back into my bedroom.  I pull on a simple, black one-shouldered, knee length cocktail dress.  I decide on some white with delicate black flower pumps.  Even though with 5 inch heels it puts me at 6’ even, Zach will still stand a good 4 inches over me.  Thinking about that causes my thoughts to drift back to Derek.  He was only an inch taller than me, and I never felt comfortable towering over him, so a lot of my gorgeous heels were left to collect dust.  I shook my head, as if my head was an etch a sketch, and I was erasing that memory.  I looked in Sarah’s and my full length mirror on the back of our door.  I approved.  I strutted out into the main living area.  Zach’s back was to me.  Sarah and Maddie both smiled, and Sarah whistled at me.  Zach turned around and his mouth opened ever so slightly.  “Wow, Aleah.  I haven’t had a date this gorgeous on my arm since…” he paused, “since the last time you were on it.”  I glanced over at the girls.  They looked like they were watching the best RomCom to come out in years.   

I grabbed a mid-thigh length black wool coat out of the closet and Zach took it from me and helped me into it.  I said goodbye to the ladies and Zach held out his arm and I linked mine through his.  I felt so giddy, being on the arm of Zach again.  As we were walking up to my car, I saw him look down at my feet.  I handed my keys over to him.  I knew what he was thinking.  We drove to the Country Club in silence.  Comfortable silence.  I was looking out the window, lost in thought.  

 Before I knew it, we were parked and Zach came around to get my door.  He held out his hand for me to grab to help me up from the seat of the car.  I paused for a second, looking thoughtfully at his hand.  I placed mine delicately in his and immediately felt the intensity of emotions through our touching.  He pulled me up to him.  He placed his hands on the small of my back, my arms folded up with my hands resting on his chest.  We were just looking into each other’s eyes.  Speaking nothing, but saying everything.  His brown eyes pulled me in.  He leaned closer and stated, “You look amazing.  I’ve missed this.  I’ve missed you.”  He nodded his head down slightly, and I tilted mine up.  His lips parted slightly and barely touched mine.  My eyes closed.  It felt like forever, but went by too fast.  His smell, his touch, his taste.  And he pulled away, studying my face.  He grasped my hand and linked our fingers, and led me inside.

While Zach went to change clothes, I entered the room.  I saw Zach’s mom and dad standing towards the middle of the room.  I didn’t see my parents, yet.  I made my way over to them.  When they saw me, their faces lit up.  “Oh Aleah!” his mom gushed, “it has been way too long.  And look at you!  You have grown into quite the exquisite young lady!  Even though your parents are right next door, somehow we always manage to miss you.  They update us all the time, though, and I’m so happy you are doing so well.”  Zach’s dad wasn’t as elaborate.  He pulled me into a bear hug and said, “Young lady, when are you and my son going to reconcile?”  I laughed and shook my head and pulled away.  “Ben, Gloria, it is so great to see you both.  One of these weekends I’ll have to come out to my parents house and we can all get together for some cards?” 

“Of course, sweetheart.  Oh, and there’s my son!”  I turned my head to see Zach walking in.  I subconsciously brought my hand up to play with the earring I had in as I watched him casually strolling towards us.  He gave his mom a hug, put his hand on the small of my back and shook his dad’s hand with his open hand. 

My parents arrived shortly after.  The evening flew by uneventfully, mingling with a lot of long lost family friends.  No matter whom I was talking to, or where I was in the room, Zach and I always had each other in our sights.  It was a beautiful celebration of Ben’s life, thus far.  As it got later into the evening, and after the champagne toast, I yawned.  It had been a long, tiring day.  I went and said my goodbyes to Zach’s parents, and my own.  I found Zach talking to an older man.  I interrupted and apologized, but told him I was tired and going to be heading out.  Zach tilted his head to the side.  He excused himself from the man, and lightly held on to the back of my arm and guided me towards the door to the foyer.   

Zach was always straight forward and honest, and had never been one to beat around the bush.  “Aleah, I meant what I said to you when we got here.  I’m only here a few more days, and know you are busy during the week.  I feel like we still have so much to talk about.  I want to be alone with you, for a little longer.  Will you please stay with me tonight?”