Emotional Touch

I opened my eyes.  I blinked, multiple times.  A smile slowly crept over my face.  I saw the digital clock on the nightstand showing 10:38 a.m.  I felt great.  I slept so good.  Better than in a long time.  I felt the strong arm draped over my waist.  I pushed backwards into Zach’s body, and felt the warmth.  His warmth.  Oh how I had missed this man.  He had grown up a lot.  I closed my eyes as I thought back to last night.

“Of course I will stay with you.  I want nothing else than for that to happen,” I responded. 

We left and he drove to a hotel just inside the city.  He used his credit card and then escorted me to the room.  Once inside, I sat in a chair, waiting for him to use the bathroom.  When he came out, I asked him to remove the comforter.  He laughed and said, “You still don’t touch these things?” 

As much as I didn’t want a one night stand, I also hate long distance.  I didn’t know what Zach was expecting, and I wasn’t about to jump into something without first talking.  “Zach, what are we doing here?”  He sat down on the bed, put his elbows on his knees, and propped his chin up on his hands.  He looked at me for a short time, showing no emotion.

“We ended thing so long ago, Aleah.  I haven’t seen you in what feels like forever.  However, being back around you, it seems like just yesterday.  I care about you so deeply.  That never changed.  It won’t change.  But, I don’t expect to get back together, or to even have sex tonight.  I just want to be around you, every second I can before I leave.  I’ve missed you.  A lot.”

“I don’t know what I can or can’t give you, Zach.  I’ve missed you, too.  We both know that long distance doesn’t work out for us.  It didn’t before.  I don’t believe it would now.  Part of me wants everything with you.  But the other part wants nothing.  Because I know how attached I will become to you.  I know that it is going to suck to have you leave, and maybe not see each other again for a long time.  I mean, I know we can stay in touch, but I don’t want to lose this…”

We just sat there for a few minutes, lost in our own thoughts.  I didn’t know what to say.  I wanted to say leave Arizona and come up here.  Transfer here and be with me, forever.  That is what I want, that is what our families want.  It’s what my heart wants.  But at the same time, I already knew that wouldn’t happen.  When we had broken up fall of our freshman years of college, over the phone, his departing words to me were, “if it’s meant to be Aleah, it will happen at the right time.”  I knew deep down that this wasn’t the right time.  Even if he didn’t, I knew I had growing up to do. 

So instead of talking, I got up and walked over to him, and sat down next to him.  We lay down next to each other on our sides, facing each other, just looking into each other’s eyes.  Reading each other’s facial expressions.  Trying to search each other’s hearts.  He was stroking my hair, back behind my ear.  I could feel my eyes getting heavy.  I closed them, and I felt his hand stop behind my head.  He shifted and then his lips were on mine. 

He kissed me slowly, and lightly, as if to make sure I was okay with it.  Then he pushed against me heavier.  His mouth opened and the tip of his tongue gently found mine.  He shifted his weight to push me onto my back and he was half laying on me.  He kept kissing me, more urgently and passionately.  His hand left my head and trailed down my arm, onto my hip.  I moved my hand up to the side of his face, and down to his neck, just below his ear.  I could feel him getting hard against the side of my leg.  He stopped kissing me then and rolled off the side of the bed, pulling me up beside him. 

He started kissing me quickly again, moving his way down to my neck.  He unzipped my dress, and pulled it up off of me, over my head.   He stepped back and looked at me, up and down.  He let out a quick breath, shaking his head, and then came back to me, kissing me.  I started unbuttoning his shirt and unloosening his tie.  I pulled his tie off, and slipped his shirt off of his arms, and pulled his undershirt up and over his head.  I then took my turn to take in his body.  His broad, strong shoulders, toned abs, and nice Arizona tan made me throw all emotional hesitation aside.  At that moment, I wanted him.  Immediately.  I wrapped my arms around him, slightly digging my nails into his back.  He unhooked my bra, letting it fall to the floor.  He ran his hands down my sides, onto my butt.  He picked me up and put me back-down on the bed.  

 He kissed my neck making his way down to my breast.  As he was kissing and lightly biting my nipple, he ran his other hand down my stomach to my thong.  He kept his hand over, teasing, running his hand along my inner thighs up around my thong.  He then slipped his hand inside my thong, and ran one finger lightly along me.  I held my breath.  Then he quickly put his finger inside of me, and I inhaled sharply, it felt so good.  I leaned sideways to try to reach his pants.  I undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants in record time, and brought my knees up to use my feet to push them off.  He kissed his way down my stomach and grabbed the top of my thong in his teeth, and looked at me playfully.  I giggled.  He removed his finger from me and took my thong off.  I missed his touch.  He then licked my inner thigh and moved to the right spot, and continued licking and kissing.  I felt my hips pushing upwards wanting more.  I was right on the verge of losing it when he stood and pulled off his boxer briefs.  He climbed on top of me and put the tip in.  I closed my eyes and winced slightly.  He was bigger than Derek, and I wasn’t used to taking him in.  He saw my face and slowed down.  He started slowly thrusting, putting a little more of himself in, each time.  He put one of his hands down, between my legs.  I breathed out heavily.  He pushed all of himself in to me.  He started thrusting faster, and kept rubbing his finger against me.  I could feel myself entering the point of no return.  “Z… I’m about…”  I couldn’t finish as my body jerked with each wave of pleasure.  His removed his finger and propped himself up and looked into my eyes, still thrusting quickly, I wrapped my legs around him.  My orgasm had put him over the edge, and he finished.  He stopped and stayed on top of me, with his head propped up on his hand.  We were both breathing heavy and fast.  

 He smiled, and I started laughing.  He started tickling me, and I tried fighting him off, telling him to stop.  I’m so overly ticklish, and if tickled long enough, might pee a little.  I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, to clean myself off.  I made a mental note to go to the pharmacy the next day and get a “Plan B.”  When Zach and I were together, I had been on birth control, but had stopped it when he and I broke up, and just never got back on it. 

I went back out and he had the sheets pulled back waiting for me.  I curled up against him, letting him spoon me.  He turned on the tv and started flipping channels, and my exhaustion from the day, from the weekend, seemed to finally catch up with me, and I fell asleep.

Getting up and getting around, Zach asked if I wanted to get lunch somewhere with him.  I told him I wasn’t going anywhere wearing the same thing I had the previous night.  He agreed to have me go home and change, but said on my way back to the hotel, to stop and pick him up some clothes somewhere really fast.  He said he didn’t care where, and it didn’t have to be anything nice, he just wanted something to wear out to lunch.  He told me his sizes and shoved some cash into my hand.  I always thought if I was a male, I would dress so much better than I do as a female, and I have really good taste in clothing (in my opinion).  I was actually excited to go buy him an outfit.  I didn’t have to be at work until 4, so we had plenty of time to spend together, though I needed to hurry.  I elected for a quick rinse-off shower, no hair washing, in order to save time.  I threw on some skinny jeans and Sperry’s with a flow-y silk utility shirt from my favorite store, Banana Republic, and put my hair in a ponytail.  I grabbed a jacket and ran out, to grab him something to wear.  I stopped by my second favorite store, Target, for him.  There is something about Target that I just adore.  As much as I wanted to browse for myself, I found him some clothes and ran out.  I got back to the hotel at 1:15. He was showered and waiting for me on the bed.  Naked.  “Oh Zach.  We don’t have time.  But you’re making this so hard… no pun intended.”  I grinned at him, thinking that I was oh-so-clever.  He laughed and stood up and snatched the shopping bag out of my hand and threw it on the floor.  He picked me up and playfully dropped me on the bed and got on top of me, straddling me, pinning my hands over my head.  I laughed and he bent down and kissed the tip of my nose.  Then my mouth.  He pushed up my shirt and kissed my stomach.  I glanced down and saw him rising to the occasion.  I sighed deeply.  He stopped and brought his head up.  “Yes?”

“Zach,” I said, looking at the clock, “we really do need to get going.  I have to head to the Racquet Club in about 2 hours.  So if you’re wanting to eat, we do need to go.”

He looked at me and stuck out his lower lip, pretending to pout.  “Fine.”  He pushed himself up and off of me and started getting dressed.  I watched him, pining after his body.  Wanting his hands to be roaming mine again.

“What do you want to eat?” I asked him, as he was ripping the tags off of the shirt, to put it on. 

He looked up at me.  “Do you really have no idea what I want, being back home?”

“Of course I do.  I figured maybe your tastes has evolved being down south.  But no?  So Runza it is!”

Runza is a restaurant in Nebraska.  It’s these glorious enclosed-dough sandwiches that are stuffed with meat, onions, and cabbage, and other various specialized “toppings.”  Zach and I used to have date nights there once a week.  We both had craved these constantly.  I don’t know how he was surviving in Arizona without them, really.

After lunch, I had to go to work.  Since I was still driving him around in my car, I said he could drop me off, and then come get me after, and we would figure it out from there.  We spoke about spending Tuesday evening together, when I got off practice, as he had plans with his family Monday.  So I knew I would get to see him one more time, before he went back to school.  My heart was sad, thinking about him being gone again.