The Ghost of Boyfriends Past

I arrived at my parents’ house at about 5:45 p.m. tonight.  I walked in and melted into the smell.  I absolutely love my mom’s cooking.  She and my dad grew up on farms, and so we are a “meat and potatoes” type family.  I entered into the living room and saw my dad watching ESPN.  He loves sports.  I take after him.  I am definitely a daddy’s girl.  I skipped in and plopped down next to him on the couch and wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek.  He gave me a happy but tired smile and told me he and my mom were coming to my matches tomorrow.  We chatted for a bit and I headed in to where my mom was.  I sat down on a stool at the island in the kitchen while I watched my mom chop up some vegetables.  I picked up a piece of carrot and popped it in my mouth.  My mom smiled and expressed how good it was to see me.  I definitely look like my mother.  She keeps her hair a lot shorter, just above her shoulders, now that she’s getting older.  My hair is also a lighter brown color with some natural hi-lights in it, whereas my mom’s is a dark chocolate brown.  But otherwise, it’s almost like looking in a mirror.  We are both tall and slender, though from my life being spent playing sports, I had a more athletic build, and my mom is 3 inches taller than I am.  I asked her about Tom and she said she thought he would be making an appearance. 

Speaking of…  “Leelah?” I heard called out from the living room.  That’s my family’s nickname for me.  I also recognized the voice as my brother’s.  Even though we don’t get along often, he’s still my baby brother.   

I got up and walked to the living room to greet Tom.  When I walked in, I saw him standing in there with Zach, the neighbor’s son.  Who also happens to be my first boyfriend ever, and the guy who took my virginity.  We dated for 4 years, throughout most of high school and the beginning of college, but grew apart, as I stayed in state, but he went to Arizona for school.  It had been over a year since we’d last spoke, a couple years since we had seen each other, and even longer since we’d broken up, but the sight of him still made my heart skip a beat.  I guess it’s true they say you never really get over your first love.  “Look who I ran into when I was walking up the drive.  We were chatting and I told him you were here and he wanted to say hi.”  I could see my brother’s smirk.  He adored Zach.  Even though he was my age, Zach was the brother Tom wished he had, instead of a sister.  I think Tom was more devastated we had broken up than I was.  I walked over and gave Tom a hug and awkwardly looked at Zach, not knowing quite how to greet him.  He opened up his arms and enveloped me into a warm embrace, which felt like home. 

My mom walked in then and said, “Zach!  What a pleasant surprise.  How is school going?  Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Zach gave my mom a heart-stopping smile and replied, “Mrs. Lange, always a pleasure.  School is so great.  My Pre-Med courses are so interesting, but require a lot of studying.  That’s so sweet of you, but I don’t want to intrude upon your family dinner.”  My mom and dad had repeatedly told Zach to call them by their first names, but he was taught to be a gentleman and refer to his elder’s as Mr., Mrs., or Ms.

My dad chimed in, then, “Don’t be ridiculous, son.”  I closed my eyes and shook my head ever so slightly.  When I opened them, Zach was looking at me.  He smiled and responded to my dad while looking at me.

“Well, if you insist.”  At that, my mom turned to go finish dinner, Zach went and sat in a recliner to watch tv with my dad, and my brother walked with me into the kitchen.

“Thanks.” I said dryly to my brother.  Even though things ended very amicably with Zach, I haven’t tried to maintain a friendship with him.  He smiled.  I then smiled back.  “So, I hear you have a new female friend?”   

My brother glared at my mom, whose back was to us.  My brother and I continued bantering back and forth.  We started setting the table when I heard the doorbell ring.  I frowned towards the door and my mom simply said, “Oh, Aleah dear, it’s a surprise for you, please go get that.”

I went to open the door and found a bouquet of flowers being held by Derek.  Really, mom?  Really.

Derek was smiling brightly at me.  I plastered a fake, overly big smile on my face and opened the door for him to come in.  I took off towards the kitchen and walked up to my mom.  I leaned in inches from her face and snarled between my clenched teeth smile, “What.  The.  Hell.”

My mom smiled pleasantly at me.  “Aleah.  Watch your language and tone, young lady.”  Then, “Tom, make sure you set the table for six!”

Maybe I should have mentioned to my mom that we had broken up, and may or may not be back together.  It just hadn’t been long, and I hated having that conversation with them over and over again, so I was waiting a few weeks to make sure it was permanent.  Apparently, that was a poor life decision.  My mother always has the best of intentions.  Derek and Zach had never met, but Derek knew who Zach was.  And with Derek already accusing me of cheating on him, and being overly jealous, I could only assume how this was going to go.  I turned to see Derek walking into the kitchen with a very pissed off look on his face.  When he saw my mom, he handed her the flowers and thanked her for inviting him to dinner.  Mom put the flowers in a vase and then started putting the food on the table.

“Is that Zach?” Derek hissed at me.  I shook my head yes.  “We will talk about this later.”  I closed my eyes and went to a happy place.  Which was anywhere but here.

For dinner, I sat beside Derek on one side, and Tom and Zach were on the other and my parents at either end of the rectangular table.  My first inclination was to have a glass of wine with my parents and Derek and Zach, but decided it might be best for me to have a clear mind during this evening.

The first part of dinner was calm (and delicious, might I add!), if not tense.  Until we were sitting around after chatting.  Zach started telling everyone he was in town for his father’s 50^th birthday party the next night.  Derek was working on his third glass of wine at this point.  Clearly he should have gone the route I did.  “So Zach, if this weekend is so big for your dad, why aren’t you there, and instead of here?”  I glanced around the table and saw my mom raise an eyebrow at Derek, my dad narrowed his eyes, my brother smiled, but Zach, of course, remained completely calm.  At that moment, I got the sneaking suspicion that Tom knew Derek was coming for dinner.  Zach coolly responded, “My mom took him out for a surprise dinner.  Plus, the Lange’s are like my second family, so when they invited me to stay for dinner, how could I say no?  And there’s the added bonus of getting to catch up with Aleah.”  Derek whipped his head over to me.  I shrugged my shoulders, but could feel myself blushing.  My mom and dad started talking about my matches the next day and that they were coming to them.  Zach started gushing about how he loved watching me play when we were in high school, that I was always so great to watch run around the court.  Then he winked at Derek.  I thought Derek was going to jump across the table.   I excused myself from the table. 

I went to the bathroom and leaned on the sink staring at myself in the mirror.  Squinting at myself, I tried to determine if this was real, or if maybe I was having a nightmare.  The door burst open and there was Derek.  He looked as if he was going to combust.  Although he started out speaking at me in a whisper, as he spoke, his voice got louder and louder. “Aleah, how DARE you invite Zach here to dinner, knowing I was going to be here.  Was this a joke?  Do you think I’m just a joke?  I’m not laughing.  You’ve been cheating on me this whole time with him, haven’t you?  I can’t believe you thought I would be alright with this.  You know, I thought that this time, it wouldn’t end up like this;  that you would grow up, and realize I’m 24 and don’t want to play your stupid, childish games.  You are such a bitch.”  He screamed the last part.  He turned to leave and bumped into Zach.  Derek paused, as if to say something, seemed to think better of it, and then walked out. 

I was left standing there, crying.  Zach walked over, and drew me in to him.  I fit perfectly in his arms, against his chest.  I could see just over his shoulder, my brother standing down the hallway, looking at me, sadly.