Nothing like a cup of regret in the morning

I’m not proud to admit this, but I ended up at a hotel. 

With Derek.

After the initial shock of seeing him, and fighting off Sideline Guy, I drunkenly made my way over to Sarah and Derek.  Sarah looked like she wanted to tackle me to the floor and hide me from what was about to happen, I was beaming, and Derek was glaring at me.  I may or may not be the overly happy drunk type who talks way too much.

“DEREK! I’m SO happy to see you.”  Sarah shook her head and started making her way over to where Maddie and Elena were at the bar.  “What are you doing here?  Did you come out to see me?”

He looked at me in disbelief and said, “No, I’m here with Justin and Paul.”  Oh yes, his eternally single friends.  I threw my arms around his neck and started slurring on about my tennis match.  He grabbed his arms and took them from around him.

“Aleah.  What are you doing?   You broke up with me.  Once again.”

I winced at the word “again.”  But it rolled off of me immediately.  “Let’s dance.”  I grabbed his hand and tried dragging him out to the floor.  He held his ground.  I walked back to him and leaned in close and said, “Derek, you never would come to these places with me.  Make it up to me now.  I know you miss me.”  He looked away.  I once again tried pulling him to the floor, and although he initially resisted, he did give in and let me pull him out there. 

After a couple songs, Maddie came out to the floor and leaned into my ear and said they were leaving.  I looked at Derek and told her to go ahead.  A brief argument ensued, where she told me it was a bad idea and I told her it was fine, but she eventually shrugged and left.

Fast forward to me telling Derek I needed a ride, to us drunkenly making out in front of the bar, to taking a cab to a hotel.

Once in the hotel room, he ripped the comforter off the bed (he knows I get completely grossed out by them and won’t touch them), and gently pushed me down on to the bed.  He climbed on top of me and started kissing my neck.  Usually Derek has been a sweet, gentle lover, but I could tell immediately that this was more desperate; more hurried.  He reached down and hiked my skirt up.  He ran his fingers along the edge of my thong.  He lifted the top part up and slipped his finger inside me.  I immediately felt myself start getting tingly and hot.  He stopped kissing me and moved the panties aside and his tongue touched right where it matters.  I knew it wasn’t going to take me long tonight.  But within seconds he stopped, stood up, unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them and his boxers down, and got back on top of me.  I felt him rub against me, and about to enter me when the memory of peeing in the barn arose.  No.

No.  Nonono!  I put my hand against his chest and pushed him up.  I told him to stop.  He paused for a second and then pushed inside of me.  My back arched in natural response.

Wait.  No. 

“STOP, Derek.”  I pushed against him again.  He looked at me, without removing himself.  “This,” I gestured towards our connected nether regions, “is NOT going to happen.” 

He pulled out and looked at me angrily and demanded, “Why are you doing this?”

“No condom?  No this,” I said as I flourished my hand in a circle in front of my body.  He rolled his eyes at me.  I absolutely hate when he rolls his eyes at me.  I was going to respond, but at that moment, I felt an excess amount of saliva forming in my mouth, and my stomach churning.  I stood up and ran to the bathroom, hitting the door frame as I entered, half falling, and half crouching, towards the toilet.  As I cradled the toilet lovingly, I felt my hair being pulled away from my face.  Derek.  Always the gentleman.  He tucked my hair behind my ears and held it back as I finished puking.

I woke up the next morning full of regret and tummy bubbles.  Derek had water, ibuprofen, and room service breakfast, waiting for me.  He was reading the paper.  “See, I don’t deserve you,” I mumbled.

He smiled and brought me everything.  I licked my lips.  My mouth and lips were so dry; dehydrated.  I drank the water like I was a camel saving up for a long desert journey.  I didn’t talk much.  Derek chatted my ear off.  Unusual.  Overly happy, I thought.  I told him I needed to get home because I had a lot of homework and worked at the Club on Sunday, so I needed to get it done today.  He called a cab for me, escorted me to the lobby, and waited with me for the cab to arrive.  I had glanced in the mirror before I left and so I knew why I was receiving judgmental looks.  Nothing like doing the walk of shame.    I also knew I would have to do it again once I got to my building.  When the cab showed up, Derek walked me to the door and gave me a hug and said, “I knew it wouldn’t take you very long,” then kissed me gently on the lips before I could respond, despite my morning after drinking breath.  I pulled away and looked at him quizzically.  I was about to ask him what he meant when he told me to get going before the cab left me.  I hustled out, thinking the fewer people that see me, the less mortifying it will be.  Then looked back at Derek after I was seated in the cab and he was giving me the “I love you” sign.  I sighed.  He thought we were back together.